Outside the Walls
by veggiepanda
Summary: Petra tells her last story to us, which was also her first. Before her hair was orange, and when she first became a Squad Member, Petra was just a young girl with potential, quiet, but determined. What happened during the expedition she was stranded with Levi? How did it change her? LEVI X PETRA
1. Chapter 1

Being outside the walls reminded me of the first time I had left as a squad member. It was about two years ago, believe it or not. I was still a rookie, and I'd never battled a titan up close before that. In fact, I owe my life to Levi.

It had been a nice day, warm, but with a cool breeze wafting around. Having been assigned my horse, I had tried to get along with it, but I could tell, it didn't trust me.

I grew up in Trost, so many thought that I was relatively sheltered, unexposed to most of the outside world and hard labor. Which was in part true. I wasn't completely sheltered, and I also didn't have to do much hard labor. My father was a merchant, and my mother a housewife. We lived a fairly easy life, and I was a single child, so the assumption is that I got all the attention. Wrong. I was one of two children.

Well, he wasn't technically my brother, but he was to me, and he was the son to my parents. A couple years older than me, he was so kind…

CHAPTER 1

"Let the 34th Expedition outside the walls begin!" I snapped the reins, and my horse propelled ahead, following everyone else. The gate continued its slow rise as we flooded out into the open.

I heard Hanji scream out in joy, letting out several whoops. "Ah! I'm back to see you old friends!" she cried out, snapping her reins and speeding ahead. I smiled to myself. Of course I didn't mind going outside the walls—I liked it even, but not as much as Hanji did. My horse galloped along, the wind whipping against my face, blowing my light brown hair behind me. I thought about the contents in my bag tied to the side of my horse, then smiled slightly to myself once again.

"Hey, Petra, pay attention." Levi said to me. I blinked out of my trance, and turned to my right side.

"Yes Heichou." I replied, brushing my hair out of my way. I glanced around at my surroundings, and though this was maybe my eighth time outside the walls, I couldn't help but feel awe, as always.

For now, I knew that it would stay calm, but it was only a matter of time until the first titan was sighted.

"Be prepared," Auruo told me, coming up next to me. "Try not to piss your pants again."

I scowled, but didn't look back at him. "Don't worry about me," I told Auruo. "I'll take care of myself."

"Hm, Petra, always trying to be tough. I'll help you when you're scared." I smirked as he said so, then dropped back in the formation, letting him talk to himself.

I slipped my hand behind me into my bag, lifting the flap with the back of my hand. I felt the cool handle of my smoke gun, and pulled it out.

I heard a gunshot, and I realized that the first titan was sighted. I glanced up into the air, desperately hoping to see a green smoke signal, that maybe Erwin was changing our route. But he wasn't…yet.

A red smoke signal filled the air, and several others quickly followed. Seeing those used to scare the shit out of me, and even though they still did, I learned to control my emotions. I flicked the reins of my horse, speeding ahead, trying to find the rest of my squad. I screwed on the red smoke flare onto my gun, then covered one ear as I pressed down on the trigger. I heard a boom, then rested my hands back onto the reins, trying to locate everyone else.

"Petra!" Gunther called out to me. He fell back, and started galloping next to me. "Why are you so far behind?"

"No reason." I replied. "What are Levi's orders?"

"Nothing for the moment…but he wants us all to stay together. Erwin might send us off."

"Right." I sped up, jumbled up thoughts speeding through my mind. So far since I've joined, Erwin hadn't sent us off on our own yet. The time leading up to that moment filled me with anxiety, the butterflies in my stomach growing more restless.

I rejoined the others, keeping my hands on the handles of my blades. More red signals were shot, then a single green one amongst them all. I raised my gun, then felt a hand gently lower it down.

"No need." Levi told me, his voice astoundingly calm.

I didn't say anything back to him, but put my gun away.

I heard the footsteps as they grew louder, the feeling still instilling fear in my mind. We followed the formation, turning slightly to the left.

The sun was beating on us that day, making me sweat even though it'd barely been an hour. I was tempted to take off my cloak, alleviating some of the heat, but without it, I'd almost feel bare. I'd survive.

Once again, the titans seemed at bay, not caring much to follow us, which I was perfectly fine with. The less I ran into, the better.

"Do you feel okay Petra?" Levi asked my solemnly.

"Yes, heichou."

"You know, you didn't have to participate in this expedition. What happened last time was fairly traumatizing, especially for someone so new to this."

I looked at Levi. I'd been so tempted to skip this, I thought silently. I'd even thought about it this morning. Did you know I'd already composed my letter of excuse?

"No. There was no question about my not participating in this expedition. I disgraced myself last time. You won't have to save me again heichou, I'll be fine." I clenched my fists around the small rope, looking forward at the approaching village.

Levi's sigh was almost inaudible.

This village was smaller than usual, but full with tall towers, almost like watch towers. I was fairly sure that we'd never explored this area before, the surroundings completely unfamiliar to me.

"What is this place?" Auruo asked, echoing my thoughts.

"It's an abandoned village." Gunther answered. "It looks like it was once a small base camp."

"Is that true, Levi?" Auruo asked.

Almost hesitant, Levi glanced at all of us stonily. "Yes." Then he split away from us, advancing to most likely Hanji and Erwin, without another word.

"Did I do something?" Auruo asked.

"No," Eld replied to all of us. "He's been acting weird ever since he returned from his meeting with Erwin about this expedition, but I don't know why. I was going to approach him before we left, but he seemed unapproachable this morning."

"Yes, it is best to know when not to bother Levi." Auruo remarked quietly.

We passed through the small village, and I couldn't help but try to see what had happened here.

Most of the buildings here were either extremely tall, or exceedingly short, being most likely

watch towers or barracks. There was no doubt about it anymore, this was definitely a base camp for an army…but what army?

We continued forth seamlessly, when something inside a barrack caught my eye. The window to this particular barrack was broken, the shards of glass poking through what was once the window frame. Several bed sets laid inside the building, the sheets messed up, as though this place was left with haste. Save one. One bed was made, meticulously made, and on top of it was something that looked vaguely like a book of some sort.

I looked up at everyone else, then turned my back. I was in the middle of the formation, so it'd almost be impossible for me to leave without anyone noticing me. I decided to keep this place in my mind. I would return to it after we set up base camp, which should be soon. If we continued going straight, it wouldn't be hard for me to find my way back.

So I kept my head forward, the village almost ending. I saw a smoke signal in the air, then sighed. I guess getting back here would be much harder than I thought.

But ever so consumed in my thoughts, I realized I fell behind, and that everyone else was way up front. I glanced up in the sky, and saw several green smoke signals. We were moving. I flicked my reins, trying to catch up with everyone else. Then a shadow passed over me.

"Petra!" I gazed up in horror as I saw a titan pass over me. An aberrant. I let out a curdled

scream, when I felt myself being pulled back, flown back, something encircling my waist.

Am I being dragged off to be slaughtered? was my first thought. But I wasn't. Levi caught me, and was flying through the village.

"Damn you and your stupid thoughts." he cussed out loud. We dropped onto the roof of a

watch tower, and I felt Levi lower me onto my back. "What were you thinking? I didn't recruit you so that you'd get some sort of life insurance."

I stood up, shaking slightly, and I gazed out into the village. The troops kept moving forward, and I finally noticed the black smoke signal, trailing its final wisps in the air.

"Shit…" I murmured. My voice trembled slightly as I looked from the dead aberrant in the middle of the village, to the fleeing troops. We were alone.

"I'm pretty sure my horse is still down there," Levi said. "But I think your's ran away...the bastard." Levi brushed some dust off of his shoulder, then locked eyes with me.

"It's only a matter of time before they set up base camp. If we move now, we can get away on my horse. You're relatively light, aren't you?"

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

"Good." he replied. He dropped down from the tower, rejoining his horse down below. I closed my mouth, and finally tore myself away from the roof, dropping back to ground, where I was most comfortable.

Levi stood next to his horse, feeding it something, and patting its neck. He didn't look up at me. "I thought you said I wouldn't have to save you…" he said softly.

I felt surprised at the tone of his voice, which was extremely soft and comforting. "You didn't have to." I said. I had tried to sound boastful, and like this didn't bother me, but it came out weak, and small.

Levi grabbed his gun, and fired a green signal.

"Hey…wouldn't that throw everyone off?" I asked.

"That's the point, they'll come back for us, and if they don't, we leave." he threw it back into his bag, and grabbed the reins of his horse. "We better find somewhere to stay. I just hope that no more titans will come around here."

He took my hand, and pulled me next to him. "Try not to die. You've just become a member of the squad, and I hate to see my men die."

I blushed slightly, then nodded. "Yes, heichou."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

We walked past several of the abandoned buildings in silence, until we reached a bunker that Levi thought suitable.

"The most acceptable." he commented, nodding towards the inside. I didn't comment, instead, I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I kept silent.

I watched Levi try to open the door pulling repeatedly on the bronze knob. When it didn't open, he kicked the door until it swung open. The sound echoed through the empty barrack, sending a cold shiver down my spine.

We walked inside, then closed the door behind us, although it was already thoroughly damaged.

The inside was bleak and gray, lined with several beds, almost all of them made. Levi lead me down the middle until we reached a bed he found suitable. "Sit." he said. His usual hard tone was slightly softer, but nevertheless, it still felt like an order of some sort. I left my maneuver gear on, sitting down, feeling clumsy. I ripped the sheets off of the bed, wrapping it around myself. How could I be such an idiot? How did I manage to let down my guard? Now I've potentially endangered my superior's life. If he died because of this…

Levi took off his cloak, then ripped off an old curtain from the rods. I watched him in silence. He hung his cloak up where the curtain was. "There." he stated. "If any of those idiots come back, they might notice it and come searching for us…but for now, the only thing we can do is wait."

He walked back over to me, and sat down on the bed beside me. "Are you scared?" he asked me.

I looked up at him. _Yes_, I thought, _scared, but mostly ashamed… _"No. It's not in my power to say I'm scared for something I did. It was a mistake on my part, and it cost us this expedition." I replied solemnly. "I'll understand if you don't want me on your squad anymore."

"I wasting my time on stupid things." Levi, looked up, completely expressionless. "It doesn't

matter what you want at this point Petra, I thought you'd realized that."

I blinked at him. "Yes, heichou."

We spent the next hour or two sitting in near silence. I was wrapped in my blanket, and occasionally Levi would comfort me. Outside, the sun started to set, and I could feel fear start to overcome me. How would we survive? We have a little food, but the titans lurking outside…

"Dammit." Levi said under his breath. "We're going to have to spend the night here Petra, are you okay with that?"

"Of course." I whispered. I kept my chin buried into my knees, thinking about what would happen tomorrow, and if everyone else will actually come back for us.

"Listen," Levi said. "I'm just as excited as you to be here, but for the time being, we just have to wait. If you want, you can sleep. Tomorrow we'll decide what to do."

"I don't need to sleep." I stated firmly. Levi grabbed my hand, and I didn't resist.

We kept all of our equipment on, just in case something would happen, and as the sky grew darker, I felt myself become sleepy. I bit my lower lip, and willed myself to stay up. If Levi was going to stay up, I could do the same. He may be my captain, but he had also chosen me to be a part of his elite team. Being eaten by a titan, and ultimately dying, because I was asleep is one of the most shameful deaths I could think of.

Levi held my hand, keeping his fingers on my thumb.

"How did you notice I was gone?" I asked quietly. He scoffed softly.

"Don't you think I would keep watch on all my men? I'd never be willing to let someone die for something as stupid as not seeing an aberrant."

"I see." I murmured, my voice almost inaudible.

I blinked my eyes slowly, a sleep spell coming over me. It wasn't until a few seconds later that I realized that I fell onto Levi, my head on his shoulder. I jerked back up.

"Sleep," Levi told me. I gave a small shake of my head, and I stayed up for a few more minutes.

"Sleep," Levi repeated. "If we move tomorrow, I don't want you to pass out."

"I'll be fine." I answered, but the temptation was so great.

His voice was so soft, and I was actually so warm in my blanket…My eyes slowly closed, and I fell asleep. The last thing I remembered was Levi putting his arm around my shoulders.

I woke up with a start, slightly confused. I glanced around me, and saw Levi staring blankly ahead.

"Levi?" I asked softly. I lifted my head off of his shoulder, and he looked down at me.

"Good, you're awake." his voice was unusually calm.

"Yes." I replied placidly. Something was wrong. "Is something the matter, heichou?"

"Don't be startled when you hear glass break Petra, we have a visitor outside."

I froze, overcome with sudden fear. I looked up, and saw a titan smiling at us through the glass window, right next to Levi's cloak.

"Okay." I started pulling my blanket off me, and then the glass broke.

I jumped to the left, narrowly dodging the hand.

Levi had sprang to the right, and had his blades out.

I held my blades in hand, watching as the titan pulled his hand out of the barrack. This was natural. I had seen this happen so many times, and I had survived this type of situation so many times. It'll be fine. I pressed down, and swung out of the barracks, covering my head as I crashed through the glass window, spraying shards all around me.

I landed on the roof of a tower across from me, crouching down. The titan turned around, its face hideous. It fixed its gaze on me, then started lumbering towards me. I grit my teeth slightly. Since I joined the Survey Corps, I had five kills. Even so, I still didn't feel as comfortable with it as Levi or Hanji probably did.

It extended its large paw towards me, and jumped off of the building, turning around, then shooting my grapple hook into its neck. I glided in the air, then rose up. I held my blades out ready to strike as I was sent up into the air.

Then, just as I was about to kill it, it turned around. My eyes widened as I grabbed me by the hair, holding me like a doll as it brought me to its face. Was this how I was going to die? A miserable death, trying to kill it. I had tried to kill it, but it was going to kill me. I felt my grip on my handgrip loosen a bit, when it started examining me, almost like it was trying to think how it should eat me. My blood had frozen, and I had seen so many of my comrades beg the titan, hoping that maybe it would spare them.

I didn't beg it. There was no point in doing that. It would still eat me, and no matter what, I wouldn't tell myself that I was below it.

"Petra!" I heard a cry. My gaze moved over to Levi, standing on top of the roof across from us, his expression a mixture of fury and horror. Then time slowed down.

I felt the titan slowly move me towards its mouth, now open. Still holding me by my hair, it lifted me closer to its mouth. Was this how I was going to die? I set me in its mouth, and I could hear Levi cry out. I heard his maneuver gear reel. Then, I knew what I had to do.

I cut my hair with my blade, sliding down the titan's tongue before it could bite down on my body. I twisted around as I fell, suddenly engulfed into darkness. I stabbed my blade into its throat, and surprisingly, I stopped falling. Saliva streamed past me, almost sweeping me away. Then, there was light again.

The titan screamed out in pain, and when it did that, I shot myself out of its mouth, and back into the world.

I was reeled onto a roof, and I rolled onto the flat surface, covered in slime, and panting. I could still hear the titan's curdled screams, and its steps of confusion. Having no time to waste, I brought myself back to my feet, prepared to finish the job. I saw in its hand my long brown hair. I guess it was about time to cut it.

I launched myself toward it, filled with the want for revenge, and with adrenaline. But Levi beat me to it. He killed it in one swipe of his blades, and the body feel past me, landing on the ground hard. The seven-meter class titan was finally dead.

I landed next to Levi, who was standing, gazing down at the corpse. "Thank you…" I gasped out.

Levi turned to me, and pulled me into his arms. "Why did you do that?" he asked, hugging me tighter.

I felt tears of relief fall down my cheeks. I'd survived titan attacks before, so why was this one so much more…intense?

Levi held my face in his hands, and pulled away. "Don't get yourself killed, Petra, okay?" I was filled with shock when I saw tears streak the his blood covered cheeks.

I rested my head on his shoulder, and nodded. "Yes, heichou. I won't, I won't get myself killed."

"I thought I lost you this time for sure. Dammit, I knew I should've followed you right after, but there was another one! Dammit, I knew I should've gone for yours first! I thought I lost you, Petra. I thought that you were swallowed, and that I'd never see you again. I thought that my squad would've been down to four…"

I felt more tears come to my eyes, but I blinked them away fiercely. We stood there in silence, no more titans disturbing us for a good five minutes.

Levi pulled away from me, slightly recomposed. "You cut your hair." he commented flatly.

I nodded.

"It's nice." and we both dropped down, walking next to one another.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Though most of the tiny village was still habitable, we decided it would be best to leave this village. We didn't know if there would be more titans lurking around, given that two had already found us. Levi decided it would probably be best to keep going. We had some food in Levi's back, which could last us for a few days maybe if we rationed it correctly.

Levi grabbed the reins of his horse, and I walked beside him, the wind blowing in our faces. The village was now littered with the steaming carcasses of the titans, slowly going away. We had no time to spare. We could either try to find our comrades or go back to the walls, but playing hide-and-seek with the rest of our legion would mean suicide. We had to make our way back to the walls on our own.

I have to admit, I was scared shit. I was shivering slightly as we walked towards what seemed to be the walls. Levi held a map in his hands, consulting it, and I gripped the compass firmly, shaking. We decided it would be best to save the horse until we actually needed it.

"Besen will most likely be tired out if she has to carry the weight of two people, and in the likely event that we run into a titan, we don't want her to give out on us." I had nodded when he told me that, but now, I couldn't stop thinking about how much more comforted I would feel to be riding on a horse. The chances of surviving a titan attack is already slim, but on foot…

I had my blades out, not knowing when a titan would come, and when I would need to switch the 3D Maneuver Gear.

We approached the end of the town, which eventually opened up to the wide expanse of plains, with nothing else.

I was still covered in the saliva of the titan, and I couldn't feel more uncomfortable. The only things reassuring me was that we had enough supplies to last a few days, we had one horse, our equipment was fine, and…I was with Levi.

He looked completely calm, expressionless almost, but I could tell that something was wrong with him. Normally he'd be gazing around, taking in our surroundings, but I could tell that he was nervous. He clutched the map tightly, to the point that I thought that he might rip through the thin yellow paper.

I took a deep breath. "Don't worry, Levi." I said. "We'll survive. Being outside the walls, I couldn't ask for a better companion."

He glanced over at me, but didn't smile. However, the change of expression on his face—his eyebrows unknitting, the rest of his face gradually loosening up a bit—was evidence enough that my small comment had calmed him a bit. I smiled at him, then turned back to the world in front of me.  
The saliva gradually started to come off of me, and although the wind was picking up, it was still a really hot day. The sun beat down on us, and though our stamina had proven fair in the past, I felt my energy reserves dwindling down.

Levi too was starting to be taxed. At this rate, if titans came to attack us…I don't know how well we'd fare.

The day continued on, and we walked for hours. At times we would spot a titan a little ways off, and the best we could do was try to avoid it. We looped around, even if it meant losing time, it was still better than having to fight.

Levi continued on without complain, occasionally stopping to consult the map.

A few hours past noon, maybe around three, we found a nice group of trees where we would be able to battle titans, and headed deep inside.

I sighed as we stepped in, the trees shielding us a bit from the sun's rays, lowering the

temperature. We settled down at the fork in the forest, where the path split into two. I slammed myself against the tree trunk, slumping down to the ground. Levi threw me a piece of bread, and I began to nibble at it. I had the urge to shove it into my mouth, and eat it all in one bite. I ignored it, and forced myself to take a little piece of food at a time. Levi took a swig of water, then sat down next to me. Besen chewed at the grass surrounding us.

Levi passed me his pouch of water, and I took a grateful sip. I never thought that I'd be in this predicament. As much as they prepared us for this situation, I always thought that I'd at least be on horseback, and that I'd be able to find everyone else. Learning to survive a night outside the walls compared to actually doing it was a lot different.

I capped the pouch, and passed it back to Levi, who held it idly in his hand.

I was breathing a little hard, thinking that it would be nice to have more water, but I knew that it could be a bit of time before we got to the walls.

My head fell onto Levi's shoulder, and before I could lift it back up, he placed his hand on

top of it. I buried my face into his brown jacket, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself. This situation was so unreal…how could this be happening.

He stroked my hair, pulling it behind my ear. "Don't worry Petra." he said softly. "We'll be perfectly fine. I'll protect you no matter what. As long as I'm with you, I won't let anything hurt you."

I held my blades lamely by my sides, and I felt myself shaking slightly. Was I crying? I shouldn't be crying. I should be stronger than this. But something inside me just…something just broke.

I felt Levi lift my hands up gently, and place my blades back inside the holders resting by me. "Don't worry about me too much." I said, my voice muffled by Levi's jacket.

"Rest." Levi told me, once again. "We'll try to make our way back to the walls after night has fallen. It'll be cooler, and we can ride on horseback if you want." his tone was soothing, but I wasn't sleepy. Fear had taken hold of me, and I knew that it would let go of me until I was back inside those walls. I clenched my fists, and moved my face off of Levi's shoulder. To my surprise, I had wet it with my tears.

"I'll be fine," I whispered. "You should rest, you know. Did you sleep last night?"

Levi started to nod, but I looked back at him. "Don't lie, I know you didn't sleep."

"I had to keep an eye on you. After all…you did almost…die."

I smiled at him, and clutched onto his arm tightly. "I'll never leave you." I said softly. I leaned back onto his shoulder, watching the rays of light pass through the trees shielding us.

"Don't worry about me. I can handle myself to a certain extent. If a titan comes, I'll fight it. Don't worry."

"To a certain extent…" Levi murmured as he fell asleep. His head shifted onto my own, and I couldn't help but think about how beautiful this moment could be if it weren't for the titans lurking nearby. Why must they ruin everything?

My thoughts turned bitter for a brief moment, and I saw my brother flash in front of me.

"Petra," he smiled to me. He walked towards us, and suddenly, Levi and Besen disappeared. The trees shifted around us, and although the real world was slipping away from me, I couldn't help but feel entranced by this new thing that was coming to me. "Come on, Petra." he beckoned me forth lending me his hand.

I looked up at him, almost curiously. The sound of the river flowing was loud. I looked over the brick wall, standing on my tiptoes to see the river passing below us. It was so cold outside…so cold. It was a light drizzle, and I felt it hit my red knit hat. I pulled on my long brown hair, tied up into two loose ponytails. My white dress hardly kept me warm, so I was hugging myself.

"I bet you wouldn't jump into the river." he said.

I stared hard at Carter. "I bet I wouldn't."

"That's 'cause she's a chicken." Alexander jeered at me.

I clenched my small fists tightly. "And you aren't? Would you jump into that river?" I demanded furiously, motioning with my brittle hand at the water below.

"Sure, but only if you'd pay me."

"I'd never pay you."

"But I'd pay you if you jumped in." My eyes widened, and immediately I gripped at the bricks again, looking down at the flow of water. It didn't seem that bad.

"How much?" I asked.

"Ten."

"Ten?" Ten? I could buy at least two books with that money. I tried not to look too excited, as I glanced from Carter, to Alexander, and finally to Brigit. She had this half scared expression on her face. She didn't look cold, wrapped in so many layers.

"Don't do it." she stated firmly, her gloved hands clenched.

I cocked my head to one side. "Why not?"

"You'll get terribly sick! Don't do anything stupid!"

"It's not stupid!" Carter chided.

"Yeah, I bet you'd never be brave enough to do it Brigit." Alexander rebuked.

Brigit turned red, and looked back down to the stone bridge. "Fine…" she muttered. "It's true that I'd never be brave enough to do such a deed, but it is not only bravery you're proving." she said, looking up at me. "You're also proving your stupidity, Petra." she spit at me. And she stormed off, her blond hair whipping behind her.

"Baby." Alexander said under his breath when she was out of earshot.

"So, what do you say?" Carter asked again. I had to admit, it was definitely tantalizing. Even if I didn't buy books, I could still buy so many other things…

"I'll do it." I said. Alexander cheered, and I pulled off my thin jacket, and shoved it at Carter. "Hold this." I ordered. "Give it to me as soon as I come out of the water."

"Yes ma'am." he said, saluting me. I pulled off my hat, shoes, and socks, shoving them all into Carter's arms.

I pushed myself onto the thick side of the bridge, sitting down on it. It was so cold…so cold. The rain began to fall down harder, as if it didn't want me to jump in…but I did.

I dropped myself down into the river, falling into the water like a rock. It was freezing. I almost felt paralyzed, and I could actually feel myself shivering. I resurfaced, and I saw Carter and Alexander's faces pop over the bridge.

Quickly, I made my way over to the shore, but I was still so cold…freezing. My limbs felt frigid, and I almost felt like I couldn't move. In fact, I didn't want to move, at all…

Carter and Alexander noticed, and quickly made their way over to me. But they didn't reach me. I saw my brother come towards me, looking like a giant compared to the trailing Brigit behind him.

"Ben…" I murmured under my breath, my lips numb.

"Dammit, Petra, you idiot!" quickly, he grabbed my clothing from Carter, then scooped me up like a little puppy. He began to dry my off with my jacket, then placed my hat on my head.

"Ben…it's so cold…" I murmured.

"Damn, I know Petra, but it looks like you didn't!" Brigit ran beside us, breathing hard.

"Will she be okay?" she asked, her voice full of worry.

"She should be, but you should probably go back home. It'd be bad if your parents found out you got a cold too."

"Fine." she said, splitting off from us.

Ben took off his own hat, and placed it over my chest. "We have to tell mother you need new clothing for this winter, otherwise you'll die!"

"I won't die on you Ben…" I said.

"Just, stay up, Petra. We're almost home."

"Okay…"

I looked back up, and I saw Ben turn his back on me. "Wait, stop, please don't go!" I screamed out. He turned back, and smiled at me. It was so kind, and full of the warmest memories and feelings. I felt tears come to my eyes. "Please, don't leave me again!" he walked away, into the sunlight. Tears traced down my face, and I was back in the forest. In this miserable world.

I wrapped my arms around Levi, and buried my face back into Levi's shoulder. Don't leave me too.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Levi woke up before me. Oops. So much for keeping watch. He didn't wake me up though, and when I did, I found myself in the same position I last remembered. I lifted my head up from Levi's chest, and looked up at his face, then buried it back into his shirt. "I don't want to go," I murmured.

"But we have to."

"Why do they ruin our lives?"

"Because…"

"Because?"

He lifted my head up, and brushed my cheek softly. "You're so childish sometimes Petra."

"I know, but I'll be fine in combat."

The sun had set, so I assumed I had slept for about three hours, maybe a bit more. It was a misty night, and was pretty chilly. The moon was out, but gave out little light, the fog covering it up, like a cloth.

Reluctantly, I let go of Levi, and sat up on my own, stretching. I felt full of energy, like if a titan were to come, I would kill it without hesitation, in one swipe of my blades. I smiled to myself, then stood up, ready to continue our trek back to the walls.

Levi stood, looking the same as always––looking neat, like he had just gotten himself ready in the morning, when in reality, we had been fighting titans for a day or two. He rubbed the back of his neck, then walked over to Besen, pulling her back over with him. "We'll ride her until we see the sun start to rise, then, if we're not already back near the walls, we'll find a place to hide until the night, where we can rest, then get ready to finish this shit up at night."

"Sounds good, heichou." I replied sternly. I was still a member of his squad, and surviving this expedition was essential.

I got onto the horse first, adjusting myself further up the saddle so both of us would fit on. Besen nickered when I got on her, unfamiliar with me, and I was filled with sudden fear, frozen like a rock…petrified. Memories of my childhood flashed before me, and my hands let out, the reins falling.

Levi caught them deftly, calming Besen as he did so. "Don't worry." he swung himself up onto Besen, still holding the rope. "I'll take care of it." he took the other side of the reins with his left hand, encircling me.

Then he snapped the reins, and we rode off.

A little later, I was holding the map and the compass in both my hands, trying to find the quickest and safest route back to the walls. "We can enter back through Zhinganshina, the closest district to us. If we have enough gas, we can try to scale the walls, but there'll probably be titans. Otherwise, if the Garrison spot us, they might open up the gate, and we'll be back in."

"Excellent." Levi commented, his voice neutral once more––this was business. "We have no time to waste. Our goal would be to make it back to the walls before morning, if not, we'll have to spend another day out in Titan Country."

I nodded, then stared back out in front of us. We were once again back in the grassy plains, a thick white layer covering the surface, giving the illusion that we were ghosts of some sort. Though the tension was bursting, and we were depending on Besen to get us out of Titan Country, I knew that she liked Levi, and that that was enough to get us back…but still, ever since what happened back then, I can't really trust horses the way I used to.

I found myself repeatedly fingering my now short hair, thinking back to when it was long, and almost feeling like something was just a little missing. I sighed silently, then glanced back at the map. If we continued at this constant pace, we will most likely make it back to the walls before morning, maybe just a bit after, but we should still be fine.

We kept riding in near silence. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as we rode, and I felt no need to sleep. The cold wind whipped past me, my cheeks feeling numb, but this only gave me a sense of exhilaration. I wouldn't let the titans get to me anymore. They were dumb, yes, and their size was the only thing that protected them from our completely slaughtering them. Don't think humanity won't come back fighting. I thought to myself, creasing my eyebrows, with a cocky smile on my face. We won't take any of your bullshit anymore. We know more and more about you everyday, every expedition. Don't be surprised the day that none of you are left.

My fists clenched, and the map crumpled slightly under my grip. I grit my teeth together, staring into the dark horizon. Humanity will fight back, and we will regain what was once ours. The map crumpled some more.

Levi placed his hand over mine, and the tension in my hand relaxed just a bit. "Don't worry about the titans."

"I'm not. They should be worried about us." I said bitterly.

Levi paused, almost in shock. "Petra…"

"Don't go on bullshitting me with all that 'I'm acting weird' crap. I'm down cowering, Levi. Don't you understand, I am trying to help humanity!"

"...I see Petra, but I do understand where you are coming from."

"Good, then why are you not supporting me?"

"I don't disagree that we shouldn't be planning the biggest attack on titans, but why are you acting so strange? Why so bitter?"

Bitter?...bitter…why so bitter?

His question struck me, like he had just slapped my head, hard. I was filled with shock, and my mind had a blank. "Bitter?" I murmured. Then I thought back to Carter…Carter, whom I couldn't avenge, no matter how hard I tried… "I'm not bitter Levi, is it wrong to want to protect humanity? Is it wrong to want to exterminate them…and anyways…you'd never understand."

"Petra, you don't know what I've been through. I'll understand what you have to tell me. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to." he took his hand off of mine, his voice growing colder. "You may think that you're the only one who has lost people dear to them, but you're not. I've experienced more hardships than you can imagine. I only hope that you'll realize how vengeful you've suddenly become, and realize that the world isn't just about you."

I immediately felt guilt as he said those words, and my head lowered just a bit. Was he right? That I had turned into an angry vengeful idiot?

"People can only run on anger for so long, then they just blow out." Levi said. I felt a tear trace down my cheek. Running on anger… I looked behind me, and locked eyes with Levi. "But it is your choice you become Petra."

I froze, feeling angry at Levi, and relief that someone knew what I was feeling. I stared at him, that single tear still dropping down my cheek. Were his words too harsh, or would they true?

I left it there, not daring to wipe up my tear. I turned back, and snapped the reins, hard. Besen nickered in anger, but proceeded to gallop faster. I leaned forward, trying to ignore Levi's presence, but I knew it'd never go away. His comment would haunt me if I kept going like this.

"You don't have to be this way, Petra. You can tell me, or maybe not even me—just tell someone."

"I don't need help, Levi." I said finally, choking back several sobs. "You think you're helping me, but you're really not. I've managed without telling anyone for so many years, I think I'll be fine."

Besen entered the small patch of trees in front of us, and I gazed around at the desolate area. If humanity were to reclaim this area, we would prosper.

Then, I glanced back furiously at Levi, then lifted my chin up as I gazed ahead of me. This was a good stretch of trees, which turned into a village later on. I didn't need Levi.

I took out the handles of my blades, and set two new blades into place. "If I get off, Besen will be able to go faster." I spit at him. I shot off before Levi could say anything, shooting ahead of them. I heard Levi scream something, almost inaudible. The wind blew through my short hair, making my cape flow behind me. It'd never felt so good to be back in the skies again!

The cold air streamed across my face, calming me, like a splash of cool water on a hot day. I closed my eyes, and smiled.

I shot myself onto the roof of a building, and start running, my swords trailing behind me, just like they taught us when I was a trainee. I completely ignored Levi, and a layer of fine mist covered him, so that I could only see his hair the head of his horse occasionally.

I remembered trying out the equipment for the first time, realizing how free I had felt since my brother's death. This must've been how he felt everyday, venturing out the walls. This was why he joined the Survey Corps. This was the reason for it all. Now I understood, he joined the Survey Corps to be free. The titans were nothing more than an obstacle, and this was the freedom every human being should feel.

I shot myself across to another building, flinging myself back, laughing. I didn't need Levi. I didn't need anything. All I wanted was this. This, for the rest of my life.

I hit the glass without realizing, crashing through the window of the two story building. I tumbled on the hardwood floor, in shock.

I finally stopped, and quickly stumbled back up to a standing position. I put my swords away, and held my hand to my head. Was I...bleeding?

"Petra!" I heard Levi call out. I walked around the room, like a drunk, trying to reorient myself. Where was I? Where did I land?

My vision was slightly blurry, but I managed to stumble around onto a bed. As soon as I sat down, a cloud of dust came up, and I started hacking. I pushed my way out of the dust, and stood in the corner of the room. I gazed around. It looked just like a bedroom, a child's maybe? The were worn pieces of paper tacked up to the walls of this room, and what looked like scribbles or drawings on it. The sun had bleached it, and the color almost completely faded. I walked up to one, and stared at it, trying to make out what was on it.

It looked like a small house was drawn on it, and next to it a giant being…a giant being…a titan.

I backed away in shock, and hit a bookcase, sending several books flying to the ground. "Ow," I muttered. It was already bad enough that I was bleeding.

I turned around, scanning the room. The dust had settled, but all these books strewn to the ground. I picked them up, fingering through them, full of sudden hope. In the past, none of these villages had anything significant, but what were these?

Many of them were just children's fairy tales, with the princess in the tower, so they were truly of no interest. I shelved them back where it seemed appropriate, but as I did so, I noticed a small box, covered in a thin blanket of dust sitting on the shelf.

I picked it off the shelf, and brought it with me, back to the bed. I tried opening it, but a small lock kept it shut. Impatiently, I slit the box open with one of my blades. Metal flew across the room.

I opened it, desperately hoping that the child who once lived here left some clues for us. Inside, there was a small notebook. I took it out hastily, placing it onto the bed. Inside there was also a silver chain, most likely a bracelet, a couple of letters, and what looked like a small knife.

I laid them all carefully on the gray sheets, and shut the box. I looked at it more carefully. It was handpaint by a skilled hand, covered with a light green color, decorated with small golden flowers which looked real. I'd never seen flowers like those before. I had to keep this box too, it'd make Hanji go hysterical. I picked up the notebook, covered in black leather.

It looked so well preserved. Yes, the box had done its job. I opened to the first page, and flipped through the book to see when it stopped. Near the middle. The person had done a good deal of writing before they locked it away. It must've been a diary.

I turned back to the first page, and began to read it. The first entry talked of nothing but young trivial matters. She—it's definitely a girl writing—sang about the birthday presents she received, this notebook being one of them. Excited, she decided to write, and told me about her crush, her friends, and what it was like celebrating her thirteenth birthday in the year 743. 743…843 was just a year ago. And if it was 743…that means it was right before the human race was driven behind the three walls that stand today. A shiver ran up my spine, and I continued to read.

In the next entry, she told us about how her father had been called to go fight these mysterious beasts that suddenly showed up. They were declared not dangerous to the public, but everyone was still worried. Many had already left the area, seeking a new place to live. She talked about how her father left her and her younger brother the night after her birthday, giving her a small decorated dagger he'd received from his own father as a boy. The entry ended there, and by the wrinkle on the page that none of the other pages before had, I was guessing she'd cried a lot, and that the tears had made the pages dry funny.

The door slammed open, letting in more light. I lifted my head up, my sword already in hand. I scrambled up. "Levi…" I said. My gaze shifted downwards, almost in shame.

"Hey Petra, why'd you run off like that?" he demanded. I looked up at him, a drop of blood falling onto my cheek. "You're usually the one that complies to my orders the most, so why'd you do that? You know the consequences, and you know what was expected when you joined my squad."

I stared into his eyes, still holding my blades in hand. "I didn't run off, I just—"

"No." Levi cut me off. His expression: furious. "You did. By going off without permission, I consider that running off. What if you had run into another titan? The fog would've kept me from have a clear view of the titan. What's even worse is that you'd pick a dirt hole like this to land in. When she heard the glass, Besen ran off. I had no choice but to let her go. I have no idea where the hell she is. Jeopardizing our lives isn't what it means to dedicate your heart to humanity. Jeopardizing our lives is just stupidity." the tension in that last word resonated through the room, once again shocking me.

"Now, you're bleeding. Your head." he sighed. He ripped my cape off of me, and tore the bottom of the fabric off, dropping the rest of my cape onto the bed.

He walked up to me, wrapping the green fabric around my head like a bandage. He did it like he's done this before, so many times. I didn't dare look at him as he did so.

He tied the knot, and dropped back, gazing at his work. It was already staunching the flow of blood, which was good I guess.

"There are so little hours left before the sun rises." he sighed. "If Besen had stayed—if you didn't run off—we would've been back to the walls before sunrise. At this point, I think it's just better if we keep going. We don't have enough food and water to last through two more days of rest. You'll just have to tough it. Get ready to go. We'll try to find somewhere to stop before morning, before the titans can see us again." he stormed out of the room, and I heard his boots slamming against the wooden steps.

Finally, I turned around, and packed all of the items back into the box. I threw my cloak back on, and clutched the box tightly as I walked downstairs, back outside.

When I arrived downstairs, Levi was waiting there, checking how much gas he had left. I did the same, and it was only then that I realized how much was gone. If I kept using it the way I just had, there was no way I'd make it back up the walls.

Levi looked at me when I came, and we started walking through the village.

I no longer felt alive in this cold weather. Now, it was nothing more but something that kept me from staying warm. I shivered, grateful that I had taken my cloak, but Levi…

He was his usual self. He looked critically at everything around us. I gazed back down, pulling the collar of my jacket up.

We walked in complete silence, with nothing but the sounds of our boots on the stones keeping us company. I could already see a small sliver of sun on our right. It was definitely one of the worst things to see then.  
Once we reached the edge of the village, it dawned on me how long it'll take to get back to the walls. What had seemed like a hopeful prospect had become nothing more than a hopeful wish. I found myself wishing that I'd never gotten off the horse. If I had just stayed on Besen, we could've been that much closer to the walls, that much closer to home.

Levi walked in long strides, and at times, I'd almost have to run to catch up with him. He had his blades out already, prepared to kill anything that moved.

"I wonder, Petra." he said. "Why you became so vengeful. A kindhearted girl, I had been told. A hard worker, excellent in groups. What happened?"

I buried my chin into the green fabric, ready to hide. "Well, heichou, it's a long story." I whispered.

"Well, Petra, it's a long way back to the walls."

"I guess so…" another pause.

"I hope you don't hate me right now."

"No, no. I could never hate you."

"Then perhaps it would be good for me to understand your past, what you've been through. Maybe we should both try to understand each other better."

I puffed out a white cloud into the cold night air, looking up into the receding moon. "It all started when I was three."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

"I grew up in the district Karanes. I came home one day, and there was a boy standing in the kitchen. Naturally, I was scared to death. I had never seen him before in my life, and he was probably five years older than me. He looked like he was frozen to death, and my mother had been standing over him, putting a blanket around his shoulders.

"I screamed out, and my mother rushed over to calm me. The boy turned around when my mother rushed over, and seemed just as shocked as me. But he was flustered, and looked away." I smiled briefly at the memory, giving a shy glance at Levi. He was focused on the road ahead, but once I stopped talking, his face unclenched.

"Keep going." he said.

"Right... so, I met Ben, my brother."

"Though I'm guessing he's adoptive?"

"Yes. He's adoptive in a sense. His parents had been a part of the garrison, and one day, they left for Wall Maria to fix it up a bit. They asked my parents to take care of him, but he never arrived. They figured that maybe his parents took him with them to Wall Maria, and forgot about him. Then, later in winter, my father found him on the riverbank, half dead. He took him back to our home, and we nursed him back to health. We were confused, and awaited the expected return of his parents for an explanation. But they never came back. Some freak accident got them eaten by titans...

"Anyways, my parents had decided to take him in as their own son. That began our relationship. At first, we were incredibly cold to one another, and not because we hated each other, but more from the uncertainty. I was nervous having a stranger living in the house, and whenever I would cross paths with him, my first instinct would be to pull away, and go find my parents. I had harbored nothing but fear of him." I gazed down at the grass beneath my feet, then back up at the moon.

"Then one day, I got caught up in a mob of people, and fell, twisting my ankle. He had picked me up, and rushed me over to the doctor, then ran back to get my mother and father. When he carried me, I had suddenly realized that he could be trusted. If it weren't for him, I probably would've been there, without doing anything. Yes, I most likely would've been okay, but still..."

I took a deep breath, the freezing cold wind nipping at my cheeks. "Finally, I started to trust him, and we grew on one another. He joined the Survey Corps, and...and..." tears came to my eyes, and they spilled onto my cheeks. "...and..." I choked out.

I turned away, almost embarrassed. But, Ben...and...Carter... "He joined the Survey Corps. A couple years before, and good friend of mine, Carter, had joined the Survey Corps too. He was praised amongst all of us in school, and we were all so impressed. He promised that he would bring me back something from the outside world, and, god...I was so happy. He and my brother participated in an expedition together."

I tightened my grip on the handles of my blades, and looked into the sky. "I can't say anything else yet, Levi."

"Don't worry about that, Petra. Oi, I didn't realize you'd be so emotionally attached. But since you are, you don't have to talk about it. If you keep talking like that, it won't be like you're telling a story, but more like you're just trying to shit."

I chuckled softly under my breath, feeling slight relief. I felt my cheeks growing hotter, despite the howling wind around us. "I didn't realize how kind you were, Levi. You also seemed colder."

"Perhaps to the idiots who criticize us, but not to my comrades. I have respect for all of you, believe it or not. Even the stupid ones." he sneered.

I smiled to myself, and looked at Levi's solemn face, just the slightest bit of amusement playing on his lips.

"Even the stupid ones..." I murmured. "Isn't that a little harsh?"

"I'm displaying my supposed affection towards them, despite their intense stupidity. They should take it as a compliment."

"Levi, I have to ask you a question...but it's kind of stupid..."

"What is it, Petra?"

"Um..." I glanced down at the high grass around our feet, feeling my cheeks growing hotter. Thank god it was dark out, otherwise Levi might've noticed me blushing. "Er...why do you hold your cup that way?" I finally stammered out.

He sighed, exasperated. "Is that really your question, Petra?"

"Um..." I thought about it quickly, almost cringing at my reply, but I couldn't actually say...

"Yes, that's my question."

"Oi, Petra!" he said sternly, his tone of voice embodying the tone that would express someone rolling their eyes.

I smiled. "You're so short tempered." I murmured softly. "And ill mannered at times. Did I also mention that you can be unsupportable?"

"Petra, are you done?"

"Not quite. You're a clean freak, and are not the way most of the people think you are." I said, chuckling to myself. "You are a very short man who can be extremely violent."

"I'm still taller than you."

"But wait. At times, you can be kindhearted, and compassionate. At times you can be understanding, and kind. Yes, you are taller than me, but aside that, you're also a good warrior, height or not. I think that these are one of the those times."

He looked down at me, and through the now fading darkness, I could distinguish his face. I smiled.

We walked in silence, and I could tell that he was thinking over my words. Oh, Levi...

The sun started its slow ascent back into the sky, painting the darkness with light strokes of orange, and pink. The day started to grow more and more pleasurable, and I felt oh so comfortable. If we weren't in Titan Country, I'd be enjoying myself—at least more than I already am.

But the brighter it became, the more titans would be waking up. I shivered at the thought, and hoped desperately that we'd see the wall soon. I didn't know how much gas I had left, and even though I had many blades left, what good would they be without my 3D Maneuvering Gear?

Fear started to set in, and I couldn't help but think about what would happen if the worst were to come? What if we came across an aberrant on flat terrain? I snuck a look over at Levi, who was completely unfazed. If anything, he seemed bored, almost aching for the excitement of battle.

Levi looked over at me. "Don't tell me that you're doubting yourself in a time like this."

"I'm not." I finally replied firmly, exhaling deep breaths. "I'm fine."

"Good. Because I don't want us to stop walking. There's nowhere to rest, so for the time being, we keep walking."

I swallowed hard, then looked back up at Levi. "Of course Heichou, I trust your judgement."

"I'm glad to hear that. We're going to need a lot of trust soon. Are you up for a jog?"

But the exhaustion! I almost cried out. I clenched my fists, and tried to shake myself awake. "Yes Captain."

Then he started off, and I had no choice but to follow him.

The sun continued its rise, but it almost seemed to be speeding up the process, like it's impatiently awaiting our demise.

My gear slapped my thighs repeatedly, following the rhythm of my run. I ran beside Levi, not willing to show any weakness. I had to prove that he made the right choice when he decided to take me under his wing. I have killed titans, and I have made it two nights outside the walls. There's no way that I won't make this last stretch back to the wall. I grit my teeth.

Our breaths had not yet grown heavier, which was a good sign.

It was most likely around seven by now, and we had been jogging for a good amount of time. Levi should no sign of physical deterioration, and I kept my tiredness to myself.

We began passing more trees, a comforting sight, especially since it was daytime. If a titan showed up, our chances of surviving would be much higher.

The silence was maintained for a half hour, and during that time, I was able to think this all through.

Carter had died when being chased by a titan. He'd run inside a building, and the titan destroyed the building, burying him in rubble. They didn't recover a body. There was nothing to burn.

I thought back to my days when I was a mere child, playing, and going to school. Being with my friends, and acting foolish and naïve. Those were good times, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I also wouldn't trade my time being a Survey Corps member for anything in the world. Those inside the walls don't realize how free one feels once they pass the gates. Just the feeling of being out of our cage, of finally being let free.

Carter, you did not die in vain. When I think of you, I think of the time you came back to school in your uniform, trying to impress us all. But I saw through you, as did Brigit and Alexander. Brigit was so happy to see you. She hugged you the longest out of all of us. I remember everyone else cooing their oohs and aahs at your crisp uniform, the wings of freedom on the back of your green cape. You told me about how great it was to be in the Survey Corps. Sure it was scary as hell, no wait, it was hell, but you felt as free as ever.

I won't forget you Carter.

I spied a titan out of the corner of my eye. For the moment being, it hadn't noticed us, but I still felt paralyzed with fear. I tapped Levi's shoulder, and he turned towards me. When he saw the titan I could tell that he was pleased by it.

"If it doesn't see us, don't mind it. If it does, we fight it. I'll take it down, and you'll finish the job." he ordered.

I nodded, my gaze set on the titan.

"God, it's really fucking ugly." Levi muttered under his breath. "I'd hate for one of us to be hurt by something that vile."

I smiled at Levi. "But we aren't going to be hurt."

He stared at me for several moments. The wind whipped through my hair, and though his expression was almost unchanged, I could see a vague difference in his eyes. "Yes, Petra."

He turned forward once again, leaving me to my thoughts. My thoughts. I had been able to think back to one thing, but I didn't know if I'd be able to face Ben...Ben...the brother I love so much.

"Levi!" I cried out suddenly. Perhaps it had too much energy in it, because Levi whipped his head towards me.

"Petra." he contemplated me.

"Levi, I...thank you."

"Petra, I promised that I would keep you under my custody until you became more capable. There's no way I would've left you there to die."

"But...thank you. It was...just...thank you. Very much." I stammered out, trying to weave my words together into something.

"Listen, Petra," he brushed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

I slowed my pace a bit, and he did the same. We both slowed to an eventual stop, and stood in the middle of the wide expanse of grass. He had never removed his hand from my cheek.

I leaned into his hand, and closed my eyes, breathing deeply, trying to catch my breath.

Levi wrapped me into his arms, and I felt his heavy breath on my exposed neck, my hair tucked behind my ear.

"I can't wait to go home."

"Watch Erwin be taking a long shit when we get there. Then we'll definitely have to wait."

I smiled into his shoulder, my forehead covered in sweat. There are still beautiful moments, even in a world like this. Going outside the walls. Family. Friends. Now.

Then Levi pulled away. Very suddenly. I whipped around, and saw the titan making its way towards us. A four-meter class. The four-meter class that had been ignoring us at first.

I held my blades at my side, anticipating its arrival.

"Split up!" Levi shouted to me.

I ran off to the right as Levi split off to the left. I didn't stop running when I approached it. I bolted for the nearest bunch of trees, luring it over to me. Levi went around, giving a wide berth to the titan. I drew it in, and it sprinted towards me.

I shot myself into the trees, spinning in the air, way above its head. It followed me all around, and Levi cut its ankles, making it fall, like a rock. I dove down to its neck, and sliced the nape off in one clean swipe. Blood gushed around me, splattering my blades, but narrowly avoiding me.

I flipped backwards, landing on my feet near the titan.

I panted, engulfed in the hot steam. Levi joined me, and after a quick consultation of the map, we realized that we really weren't that far from the walls. We could make it back to Zhinganshina if we kept going. We should be able to make it back in an hour or two.

This lifted our spirits, and I couldn't help but have this big grin all over my face. Levi gave a small acknowledging smile, and walked away.

"Come on. This is disgusting. I'll be glad to be back, where hopefully it'll be a bit cleaner." I jogged over to him, and we continued jogging back.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

The jogging was starting to take a toll on me. We'd be running for at least a couple of hours, and though we'd taken a few minutes to rest every so often, I still felt tired out.

My head wound was beginning to hurt again, and I had to keep retying my makeshift bandage around my head. The dried blood was caked on my forehead and hair, making me feel sticky and incredibly uncomfortable. Sweat ran down my face, and occasionally, it would encounter some blood. Occasionally, it would make blood run down my face too, staining me and surroundings.

Whenever we found a cluster of trees, we would use our 3D Maneuvering Gear to launch us farther. We didn't know how much longer we'd survive. Even a titan-killing genius like Levi would still be taking his chances to spend another night or two outside the walls. It would be even riskier with both of us stuck out here. Being alone would mean easier escape, being at two would mean having a comrade to help you out in a difficult situation. Being outside, would most likely mean death.

I tried to smile, trying to convince myself that everything was okay. I remember Hanji telling me that if you smiled, it would make your brain think your happy. Even if it was fake, I could really use some happiness right now.

I forced myself to smile as we ran along, holding my blades by my side, the wind blowing through my hair.

"Oi, Petra. Why are you smiling? I hope you're not going to do anything crazy."

"Levi," I said through gritted teeth.

"Is that what you look like when you're trying to shit?"

I sighed. There was no dissuading Levi from making the occasional joke, and at times it could even lighten up the gloomy air on an especially...awful expedition, but now?

"You always make them at the wrong time." I said blandly, trying to sound level headed.

Levi glanced over at me, and observed me, not slowing down. "Do I? It seems like a perfect time to me. Being stuck in Titan Country with you, making jokes, I think it's okay."

His simple comment was enough to make me blush, and I turned away from him. "Whatever...Captain...Levi..." I tried to cover my face with the sides of my hair, my expression completely flustered. I could imagine the amusement on his face—not quite smiling, but not quite that usual expression he has, not the bored look, nor the disgusted look. A specific look. His look. Oh God...his look...

"Your face is red, like a strawberry." he said aimlessly.

"Wha—" I quickly sheathed my blade, cupping my hand over my mouth in shock. "My face isn't—" then in the reflection of my sword...

"I'm red because I'm hot, sweaty, and covered in blood." I stammered out, desperately trying to say it with conviction.

"The first part might be true. I also didn't say it wasn't."

I felt my face become hotter. My entire body was almost turned away from him at this point.

"I could be joking." he said. "But I never said I wasn't."

"Just, stop, Captain..." I moaned.

"Never. Until the day you're gone."

I turned back at him, convinced that my face was not like a strawberry. "That'll be a long time." I replied shyly.

"It better be." he said sternly.

Then I started smiling, but this time it was real.

But, of course, the world came crashing down on us, once again.

Over Levi's shoulder, I spotted a titan, probably a ten meter class, making its way towards us. "Levi!" I cried out, pointing behind him.

He turned around immediately, then quickly analyzed the situation.

"There's a small clump of trees ahead—could we just wait there?" I suggested. Its footsteps grew louder as it approached, and I felt scared. My hands were shaking slightly, and I was extremely nervous. I didn't try to hide the panic from my voice.

"It'll be too tall." he replied. "There's no way to avoid fighting it."

"No, no, Levi." I murmured. "Captain?" my voice was shaking. "Captain, let's just try it. If it's too tall, we can still kill it then, we'll still be a bit higher than the nape, we'll still be okay!"

"Those trees aren't very tall. They're at most five meters tall, they won't help us."

"Captain! Are you certain? Captain, it's approaching! Shouldn't we—"

"Petra, remember this. I'm not certain anything. I may think that my plan will work, but there's as good of a chance that one if not both of us will die. It's up to you whom you trust." he turned to me, and locked eyes with my eyes, brimming with tears. "You can either trust me, or your own instincts. I haven't been doing this much longer than you, Petra. If you believe that you'll have a better outcome, you can go on your own. I don't know how this'll end. I might die, and you might live. Do what you'll regret the least, Petra."

Levi grabbed the back of my neck, and pulled me closer to him. "Just try not to die, whatever you do, Petra. Just remember that you have to go back inside the walls, that you will come back out another time, that you will be a great Survey Corps member, and that you won't die right here, because of that little bastard. Do you understand?"

I felt a single tear spill out. I couldn't hold that one in anymore, and I let it slip down my cheek, tracing down my neck, soaking into the green fabric of my cloak. I closed my eyes. We had stopped, but the titan was still approaching. I looked up at Levi.

"Of course I understand, Captain. I won't let you down."

"You could never let me down, Petra." and after that, he kissed me.

He pulled me towards him, keeping his hand resting on the back on my neck, never letting go. Another tear slipped out when I closed my eyes, but I didn't care. All I could think about was Levi, his lips pressed against mine. His kiss was so sweet, somehow playing on the taste of tea, the tea he would always drink—black tea. Somehow it had stayed. It also tasted like the things that made up a captain of the Survey Corps—sweat, blood, and...and...freedom. Everything the Survey Corps strived for: freedom.

His other arm enveloped me, holding me tight against him. It was so hot out, and I felt so sticky, but pressed against his jacket, his shirt—pressed against him—I felt so comfortable, like I could've stayed there forever.

When we pulled apart, we were still standing so close, I could feel his heavy breath. His palm was on the nape of my neck, his fingertips playing with the tips of my short hair. The nape of the neck may be death for titans, but for me, it reminded me that this was just the beginning of my life. That there was so much more to do. That I couldn't die, and wouldn't die here.

I stared into his grey eyes, and I just couldn't let go, I couldn't break this spell. Forget the titan. Forget death. Forget all of that.

I moved forward again, kissing his lips one more time, but pulling away quickly. He stared back at me, not dropping his gaze, his left arm still wrapped around me. Levi tilt his head down, resting his forehead against mine, strands of his hair tickling my face.

"Petra…" he said gently. I understood from that single word: the titan's arrival was imminent. I slipped out of his arm, somewhat reluctant. I had to focus though. This was a life or death situation.

We weren't too far from the clump of trees, and I flew over to it. I landed on one of the highest branches, perched up there like a bird. Levi had followed me, but was lower down.

The footsteps were a constant noise, never ceasing. It almost followed the rhythm of my heartbeat—beating fast, but constant, like a drum. The constant, steady, fast beats of a drum. I looked up at the sky, smiling. The world could be so beautiful. Yes, we were locked inside a cage for almost our entire life. Yes, we were out risking our lives for a hopeless cause. Yes, we were called freeloaders, though the price of our advantages could be our life. But the world, the world could also be good.

The titan came closer to us, and I could tell that Levi had estimated correctly. My tree branch was low enough so that it was around the stomach of the titan. If it wanted to, all it would have to do is lift up its meaty paw, and grab me. That's all it'd have to do to end my life.

When it approached, I glided across, only shooting out one side. It hit my wire, falling, and I pulled it back, shooting myself to the tree across, cutting out the back of its knees.

It was an awful sight, seeing it's knees buckle, the blood sprinkling itself around me. I tried to keep that dreamlike daze I was in at first, but I knew it wouldn't last long.

I heard another swipe of blades, and the nape of the neck cleaning flew off, dropping to the side.

I saw Levi through the steam, his blades reaching up towards the sky, like wings almost.

I landed, skittering towards the tree, almost hitting it. I woke myself up, and tried to shake myself out of that nice trance, like warm milk before bed.

Without even realizing it, I was making my way towards Levi, who met me halfway, breaking through the thick clouds.

I walked into his arms, which wrapped tight around me. "I trust you." I murmured softly.

I felt my forehead getting wetter, the steam most likely making it moist. I felt uncomfortable, the heat making me feel slightly dizzy. My breathing was soft and steady, and I could feel all my muscles starting to relax, but my mouth was dry. Water...

But it was steam that was filling my bandage. My knees started to buckle, and my head slumped against Levi's neck.

Quickly, he lowered himself down, making sure not to drop me as he did so. My hands hung by my sides, and my blades were stained with blood, wiping against both of us. He ignored them, the cool metal slipping against my pants, leaving traces of red, like brush strokes.

I felt my body touch the ground, and at the same time, this sort of sleepiness was fogging up my thoughts, sending them fluttering off into this sort of darkness.

Levi adjusted my body so that I was being carried in his arms, and I heard the reeling of the wires, sending us back up into the trees.

The leaves around us tickled my face, and a small noise, like a laugh, escaped my lips. "Petra." I heard Levi say. "Petra, wake up."

We landed smoothly, on a branch, and he readjusted me so that I was leaning against his body again. "Petra," Levi repeated persistently. "Wake up."

I cracked my eyes open a bit, looking up into the impossibly blue sky. Levi felt my forehead.

"You're awfully warm. I hope it's just something temporary from the exercise."

I smiled, and looked up at him. "Exercise." I repeated.

He stared back down at me, my head resting on his lap. His face cast a long shadow over mine, blocking the sun from my view.

I smiled again, then sat up. "I'll be fine. Let's just get back to the walls. Getting sick there would be a lot better than getting sick here."

I made my way down the tree—on my own, just to prove to Levi that I was perfectly healthy—and started to jog.

Levi caught up with me shortly after, and we were once again jogging back to the walls.

I was panting, and I didn't bother try to steady my breaths, to make it seem normal. No, I was completely tired out, and some water would be good. My mouth was dry, and I was feeling dizzy. It hadn't been long since we'd lost Besen, so at least we had her and some supplies for a bit. If only she had stayed...

In less than an hour, I started to seem something over the horizon, peaking out behind all the trees. I saw something cream colored, and if I looked really hard, I could see the small silver dots lining the top.

The walls. Zhingashina. It was finally in sight. We were actually that much closer to going home. We just had one more stretch to go. When the Garrison sees us, it'll already be a lot easier. We just had to survive for another half hour or so. Then...then we'd be back. We'd see everyone else on the Survey Corps. I'd see all my comrades. I'd see my parents. I'd see my friends. I'd be back home.

All these fond thoughts started rushing over me.

Then I looked over at Levi. He was staring ahead, once again, focused on getting back. I wondered what he was thinking about, and if he'd seen the walls. Of course he had, but why no reaction?

He gave me a reaction, right then, and it was a good one.

The walls had become that much bigger, and so had this noise. This...noise...

"Run." Levi stated.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

The clumps of trees were becoming more and more frequent, showing up left and right. We took advantage of it whenever we could, trying to push ourselves as far as we could. The unmistakable thunder of titan feet slowly became louder, the din starting to grow.

I sprinted as hard as I could, the physical exertion making my head throb...throb...throb.

Levi too was sprinting, and I could tell that he was physically taxed, not speaking, only running, his expression deadly.

We had so few blades left—we had broken too many during our past fights, and now, with a herd of titans, it'd be impossible to fight all of them and survive. I had but three blades left, one set and a half. Levi had two blades. Nothing else.

The wall started to consume more our view, revealing the bell up top, and all of the tiny Garrison members, next to the mounted cannons. Had they seen us yet? They must've seen all the titans, but had they seen us yet? If all the titans caught up to us before they saw us and opened up the gate...with that many...killing them would be difficult, and given that there are usually other titans around...we might just end up scaling the wall.

I turned my head around, glancing over my shoulder, just to get a glimpse of what was happening behind us. I wish I hadn't. They were all running at what seemed like full speed, and though we had a good lead on them, it wouldn't be long before they caught up to us.

"Oi, Petra! Pay attention, and keep running. Don't look behind you." I snapped my head back, and continued running, gasping for breaths of air. My lungs were burning, and my legs felt like they were going to fall off, my knees about to buckle.

I reached up to wipe some sweat from my forehead, only to be greeted by the nasty sticky liquid that was blood. And it wasn't too old either. I held in my gasp, and put away my blades and handle. I reached up underneath my hair, fumbling to find the knot that Levi had tied. When I finally found it, my hair and hands were covered in my blood.

I was shaking, but I managed to loosen the knot. I held firmly on the ends, then retied it, trying to make it tighter, trying to staunch the flow of bleeding.

I tripped in all of this chaos, landing hard on my shoulder. I grunted, forcing myself to crawl back up, despite this urge to just fall back down, and fall asleep.

I felt miserable. I was covered in a layer of sweat, blood, and dirt. I felt like I was going to fall apart at any second, and that my head might just crack open if it decided that it wanted to. I felt like I was going to burst into tears, and scream out in rage, all at the same time.

The only thing holding me together, was the sight of the walls.

Levi grabbed me by the elbow, giving me a hard stare. "Petra, we're close to the walls. Just pull through."

I nodded woozily. I started running slower, feeling exhausted. Just one break...a little break…

Our sprint had slowed to a jog, which worried me greatly. The only other thing that worried me was that we might collapse from exhaustion if we sprinted. But if we jogged, the titans could catch up to us.

The walls finally came into full view, revealing all the titans swarming the wall, desperately clawing at the stone surface.

Levi whistled loudly, trying to get the attention of the Garrison as soon as possible. I followed suit, placing my muddy blood covered hands in my mouth, shoving my fingers into it. I whistled as hard as I could, repeatedly whistling.

I looked up from the grass, squinting past the sunlight, trying to make out what was happening on the wall. I focused, concentrating. Then, I saw them.

Several members of the Garrison were rushing over to the edge of the wall. I heard snippets of distant cries, drowned out by the titans behind us. Now, it was like a tree was cracking right beside us. They were awfully close.

I wiped some of my saliva onto my cloak, then started whistling again. Finally, I saw someone come up with a telescope, pointing down at us. I waved desperately.

"Oi." Levi muttered angrily through gritted teeth. "Don't they see us? Those bastards better not let us die."

They started running frantically around the wall. I could see people in position, standing behind cannons.

"Psh," Levi scowled. "Idiots."

Then, something good finally happened to us. I heard the sound of the bell. I was ready to collapse with relief, or start laughing out loud. This sound, the continuous ringing of the bell announced our arrival. I had a big grin on my face, and I finally felt like I could start relaxing. We were so close. In just a few more minutes, we'd be back.

Levi grabbed my arm, and started pulling me around. "Now, we sprint to the finish." he announced.

As we ran, I observed my surroundings. How could one be so free, even though they are being continuously hunted? Like an animal.

I threw my head back, and almost screamed. The titans were approaching, and the closer they got, the more a large dread started to fall on me.

"Levi, they're close!" I cried out over all the noise. The first cannon shot off, hitting one of the titans behind us.

"Petra, I told you not to look back. Have faith in the Garrison." he replied calmly. He sped up a bit, and we were sprinting once again.

Several members of the Garrison eased themselves down the wall, trying to lure the nearby titans away. They caught the bait, and were slowly moving away. The bell kept ringing. I could feel the tension in the air. Trying to save two Survey Corps members, who had been stranded outside the walls for five days, being pursued by ten to twenty titans. How would they do this?

We ran towards the gates, and when we finally made it there, they wouldn't open. We began to bang desperately on it, continuously looking back at the approaching group of titans.

"Shit!" Levi cried out. "Open it up!" We looked up, and they made several signs, motioning in different directions. They continued doing it, and then finally I got it. They were pointing to the left, where a bunch of titans who had been lured away. Those titans had started moving towards us once more.

"Dammit." I murmured. I looked behind me. The titans were so close, that in a minute, they'd already be able to consume us.

"We're switching to 3D Maneuver Gear." Levi ordered. He took out his blades, and shot himself up. I did the same. I shot myself up the gate, narrowly missing a five meter class. Its hand shot out past me, grazing my cloak. I bit my lip, forcing myself to keep calm. Several other titans gathered up below me, reaching their hands out. It took all of my power to dodge them, avoiding their groping hands.

I was reaching the end of my wire, and Levi was already far ahead, almost at the top of the walls. Damn…why would I be moving so slowly now? I shot myself up, regaining my bearings, sprinting for a few seconds, then shooting myself back up.

In less than twenty seconds, I had caught up to Levi. We were a good thirty meters up—almost at the top. He had started slowly down, no longer in a rush, now that we were a little more than twice the height of the tallest titan down there.

My blades pierced the walls, and in another short burst of energy, I eagerly reshot my wire. If my blades had hit that wall, had pierced it, in that last run, I would've made it back up to the top of the walls. But I didn't. I didn't have anymore gas.

I started to fall, and at first, my only emotion was this longing, like something was missing. Why was I not already on top of the walls? That should've done it, but for some reason, it didn't. After the shock set in. I was falling. I had run out of gas, and was falling down to my dearest fans down below—the titans. They would eat me up, and I bet right now, they were full of anticipation. Finally, the fear set in. All in a couple of seconds.

I plummeted like a rock, falling past Levi.

I felt weak. I was going to die a horrible death. If my body didn't splatter on the ground down below, it would've meant that a titan had caught me, and that it would consume me, if not tear me apart and share with its friends.

I couldn't cry. All I felt was fear as I gazed up at the sky, and at the edge of the wall. So close. Right at the gates of heaven. But for some reason, I was falling. Heaven had faded away, and now I was falling back down to earth. To this miserable earth. Or worse, down to hell. But we lived in hell didn't we? Earth was no different than hell. We were in a living hell.

My descent was surprisingly slow, and this gave me a lot of time to think things through. I revisited my memories of my family, and growing up. I saw Carter and my other friends. Then…Ben.

He smiled down at me, offering his hand to me from where I laid, almost dead, on the ground. On this hard earth. He was dressed in his Survey Corps uniform, extremely proud looking. I smiled back at him. How was this happening? He's dead. I remembered seeing his broken body being carried back in the carriage, being brought over to our home. I had been waiting in the kitchen. Waiting for him to come home and hug me. He would tell me what it was like outside, in the outside world, outside these walls. But he didn't tell me anything that day. He wasn't able to speak his own words. Those words came out of an officer's mouth. They announced that he would get a proper military funeral, and would be burned with his comrades. At the time, I didn't understand. I didn't understand why mother was crying. He was surely coming home later. So then, I waited. Five years later, the truth finally set it. He wasn't coming home. Even after attending his funeral those five years before, I still wasn't able to comprehend what was happening. I had managed to convince myself that he would come home again. Three years after that, I was sixteen. That year, I started training to be a soldier. I would avenge my brother. I would go see with my own eyes the things that he had told me about with such excitement.

The year I joined, Carter died. I remembered seeing him when I was a training. He was so surprised, and he too, was also incredibly proud. "This is going to be great!" he had said. "We'll be able to explore together! You won't be disappointed, Petra!" And I had believed him. And I still did.

I snapped back to reality for a brief second. I was already halfway down. My hair was flying up past me. I heard a faint cry, vaguely resembling the sound of my own name. I closed my eyes again. My head throbbed, but was starting to feel freer, like I was escaping out of a pile of hay, swimming through all my problems. I was beginning to accept my past, and I knew that once I was consumed, that there was a chance that I'd be able to die in peace. My memories continued, making Carter fade away, and replacing him with my parents. The day I told them that I would join the military.

Of course, my parents were fairly reluctant. My mother began bawling when I told her I had enrolled to become a Survey Corps member. Originally, I had told them I was aspiring to be a part of the MPs. They were proud. Imagine that, little Petra, an MP! But that had never been my true motives. I had wanted to join the Survey Corps from the start. When I finally told them what I actually wanted to join, it was the day before my departure for training. My mother dropped the ladle she was using to cook with, spilling soup all over the floor.

My father didn't seem surprised, and as my mother cried, he remained placid. When I asked him what he thought, he told me he suspected that I would change my mind. I thought he would yell at me, or scold me. To my great surprise, he didn't. "Petra," he said. "You're growing up. You're sixteen, you're practically a woman. I believe that you should have your own liberties. Your brother too wanted to join at a younger age, but we didn't let him. When he grew older, I suspect that he held a sort of bitter resentment towards us. The last expedition he went on, was perhaps one of the best to him. He came home while you were away, and told me that he didn't care about my rules, and that he wouldn't die a merchant. Being in the hell outside, was better than the hell inside. He told me he wasn't a little boy anymore. It was when he left that I thought for a second, that maybe I controlled that boy too much. I'll never be able to tell him that, but I want you to have the satisfaction of knowing that you can make your own choices."

"But what does that mean, dad?"

"Petra...I'm proud of you having such courage. Just come home. Come home."

Home...I opened up my eyes. Then glanced down at my hands. Empty. I grabbed my swords, and spun myself around so that I was facing the titans. Their heads were lifted up, welcoming me.

I had to go home. I told my parents I would go home right after the expedition. I would fight these titans. I would kill them. If I were to die, I would die fighting.

My boot hit the wall, and I ran down, speeding up. The closest titan was approaching, and as its arm made its way towards me, I jumped off of the wall.

I sliced its hand off, trying to reach the nape of its neck.

I kicked myself off of the stump where its hand used to be, the steam burning my body. My head wound was bleeding again, but I didn't bother fix it. I sliced its eyes out, blood spilling around me. I felt the body shift as more titans grabbed at the single titan I was battling. They reached out towards me, trying to grab me.

I was in the air again, ready to kill it. But as I descended, I missed. I missed? I missed. No, I hadn't missed. I moved. But, how? I had shifted way off of my mark.

Levi. His name rang through my mind, like the bell, ringing once again.

We flew in a curve, flying back towards the wall, raising ourselves higher up. I looked up at Levi, into his grey eyes. They were fixed on me, his face a mixture of emotions.

I shifted my gaze back down to the crowd of titans, who almost consumed me, then back up at Levi. I placed my blades back in its holder, feeling the blood drip past my eyes. Levi had saved me once again. Is this how it was going to go for the rest of my life?

Levi was gripping around my stomach, fastening me to his side. My head was slumped slightly on his shoulder, mostly from the pain and exhaustion. I wasn't sure if I was ready to fight another titan...in a long time.

Levis fingers moved to my chin, touching the part where some blood had dripped. He turned it back over so that I was facing him. I tried to say something, a thank you, but nothing could escape my lips. I choked on my words, and tears filled my eyes. I was going home. I smiled at Levi.

He bent down towards me, casting a shadow over my face. He brushed some of my hair out of the sticky blood, staining his clean hands.

"You're safe." he said softly. Then his face turned back to the sky.

We landed on the wall, and were greeted by a throng of Garrison members. Levi kneeled down on the wall, cradling my head in his arms. When he pulled his arms away from my sides, I noticed that my green cloak was stained with blood.

I glanced up, and saw a deep bloody gash carved into his arm, the jacket sleeve completely torn apart. When I touched his skin beside the wound, his expression reflected no pain, but instead amusement.

"Shouldn't there be bigger things to be concerned about?" he seemed so amused, gazing down at me.

I touched my bloody forehead, my fingers recoiling at the touch of the soppy bandage. "No." I whispered.

Levi closed his eyes in contemplation, but before he could say anything, I was being lifted off of him. His arms parted to let the Garrison soldiers lift me up, and I was placed on a stretcher. I still held tight to Levi's hand, gripping it tightly. I closed my eyes, feeling relief.

I began to feel sleepy, and the last thing I remembered hearing, was the sound of the canons, firing away.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

My eyes opened, and I bolted up from my pillow. My heart was racing, and I could feel sweat on my forehead. I wiped it away, and felt a crisp new bandage tied just under my bangs.

I glanced around my room, wondering why I wasn't back home. Instead I was in a lavishly decorated room, painted a light purple. I was sitting in a canopy bed, the top resting lazily above me. In the middle of the room was a large plush green carpet, ornately decorated with fine golden lines. A mahogany bedside table had a small lamp on it, and the french windows had their red velvet drapes pulled away from the glass. Where was I?

I threw the sheets off of me, and walked over to the window on the other side of the room.

It was morning outside, and people were already flooding the streets. But I was no longer in Zhiganshina. I was definitely inside Wall Sina. But why am I so deep in the interior? I should be back in Karanes, saying hello to my mother and father, just as I had promised. Something must be wrong.

I walked back over to my bed, and noticed a new set of clothing sitting atop the chest at the foot of my bed.

I changed into them, and left my old clothing on the floor next to my bed. There was nothing in the rest of my room hinting at what I should do once I had woken up.

I mouth was dry, so I walked over to my desk, grabbing the silver pitcher of water. I poured myself a glass, then quickly drained it, relieving myself of the awful taste in my mouth.

I slammed the glass back down on the wooden table. Where was everyone else? Didn't I get to see them? Where was Levi? I needed to see him. He saved me. He…he…

The door was kicked open, and in the doorway was Hanji Zoe and Mike.

"Ah, Petra, you're awake." she smiled, then walked in confidently, swinging herself onto my bed.

"I'm so glad that you're feeling better, and I can't believe you were stranded outside of the walls." her expression became a little darker, and she pressed her hands together, resting her chin atop them in deep contemplation.

"I can't imagine what you had to go through, and it's incredibly remarkable how you made it back."

I bit my lip, unsure of what to tell her.

"But," she smiled once more, standing up next to Mike. "We can't be sad about you surviving, can we?" she laughed.

"Come on, let's go." she walked back out of the doorway, Mike following her.

I was slightly surprised about her sudden visit, but not knowing what else to do, I followed her.

We walked down a small but beautiful hallway, the floor covered in a rich red carpet, the walls lined with paintings.

"We're in the house of a very kind noble man who sponsors us." Hanji explained as we walked.

Mike turned around, glancing at me, smiling. A greeting. I smiled back.

"We thought that you were dead, you and Levi, actually. We didn't realize that the two of you were together, which might've changed our initial thoughts, but still, we figured that you two were eaten by titans. Unbelievable that two great soldiers could go like that, but the sad truth." Hanji led me to an unmarked door, similar to all the other ones we had seen.

"You have ten minutes, then we'll come back to get you and have some breakfast, alright?" Mike opened up the door, and Hanji pushed me in, slamming the door shut after me.

Again, Hanji's short visits were always surprising, and I didn't think I'd ever get used to them.

I looked around the room, noting that it had practically nothing in common with mine. White drapes were keeping sunlight from flooding the room, and the walls were painted a baby blue. A large mirror hung across from the canopy bed, and in the reflection was me. But I couldn't recognize myself. The girl was slimmer, but stronger. She had more defined lines on her face, and her eyes bore no fear. Her expression was tired out, and her hair was cut short. I pulled at the tips, and gazed at the girl in front of me. Who was this girl? Who was she?

I pulled myself away reluctantly, gazing down at the floor, stuck in this perpetual state of shock.

I walked across the rug, and over to the head of the bed. There, was Levi.

He was sleeping peacefully, looking undisturbed. His arm was wrapped in a white bandage, but other than that, he looked just the way he did before we left on that expedition.

I brought the desk chair over to his bedside, and sat beside him, not changing anything, not wanting to disturb him.

I watched him sleep, his chest rising up and down. It's funny how he'd seen me sleep so many times, but I'd never seen him. He seemed so much more at peace.

Without realizing it, I took his hand in mine, holding onto it softly.

His eyes opened, and he looked up at me, his expression almost unchanged.

"You look so much more peaceful when you're asleep." I said, mockingly.

He propped himself up, and squeezed my hand. "That's because when I'm not sleeping, I'm usually killing titans."

I smiled, and he grabbed my other hand, brushing his thumb over my fingers.

I sat there, gazing at him, feeling ridiculously pleased. My cheeks were hot, and even though it was so dark, I kind of hoped that Levi could see me blushing.

We sat there like that for a few minutes, Levi with his eyes closed, his chest once again rising up and down, hardly making a noise. I figured that he'd fallen back asleep, and got up, slipping my hands out of his.

Then, he tugged on my wrists, definitely not asleep. I fell down with a yelp.

I landed on the soft sheets next to Levi, and he pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. Never letting go, he rested his hands on my stomach, still gripping tightly to mine.

I curled up beside him, and my cheeks were burning. My heart was pounding, and I caught my breath unknowingly.

I was completely engulfed in the warmth of his body, and his arms were strong against my body. I felt like I could stay there forever. He breathed gently on my neck, which was so comforting. I didn't remember being this close to him in a while, even though we had been together for a few days.

I tucked my head into his neck, his chin sitting on top of my head.

Everything was so perfect, but I couldn't help but feel guilt when I saw the bandage wrapped around his arm. It was because of me that he got hurt.

I lifted his hand up, resting the injured part of his arm on my cheek.

"You protected me." I whispered, closing my eyes. "But you hurt yourself when you did so."

Levi said nothing at first, but he left his arm at my side.

"I told you that I wouldn't let anything hurt you, as long as I'm by your side." his other arm pulled me closer to him. "So I'll never let anything hurt you." his voice dropped to a whisper, and his hand slid down to my cheek, gently cupping it.

"Thank you." tears came to my eyes when I realized what would've happened if he hadn't saved me. But he did. He did save me.

Levi kissed my neck, and left his head on my shoulder. "You don't have to thank me."

Our faces were so close together, our noses were touching lightly.

Then, the door slammed open. Levi slipped his arms off of me, and I stood up, quickly recomposing myself.

Oh, God. We were so close together. I touched my cheeks and they were burning. Levi sat up as Hanji and Mike stormed inside.

"Oh, Petra. I thought you would open the curtains." Hanji complained, tearing the curtains apart.

The room was flooded with sunlight, and I covered my eyes with my arm.

"Oi, Four Eyes. What's the deal with all of this?" Levi demanded, scowling.

"Oh, Levi!" Hanji cried out, pleasantly surprised. She strode over to his bed, and swung herself onto the chair beside his bed. "I figured Petra would've told you. Plus, this chair is right next to your bed. Didn't you two chat?"

Levi's eyes flicked over to me, then back at Hanji. If I hadn't been looking at them, I wouldn't have noticed that slight movement.

"I just woke up. Of course we didn't talk." Levi retorted. Hanji smiled.

"Ah, well. I'll tell you on the way there."

Levi protested as Hanji hauled him out of bed, and pushed him out of the room.

"It doesn't matter if you look like crap, Levi. I don't think anyone will mind."

"Shut up, Hanji."

Mike trailed behind them, waiting for me to go up and join the three of them.

I walked beside Mike, Hanji leading the way, pushing Levi along.

"Petra," Mike said, never removing his eyes off of the two in front of us. "You seem awfully quiet."

"I'm tired." I replied quickly. I fingered the tips of my hair.

"Your cheeks are pink."

"What?" I exclaimed. My cheeks became even hotter, despite it having cooled down from at first.

"It was just an aimless comment." Mike noted.

God, of course Mike would notice. He never misses anything. I smiled, and looked up at Mike.

"Of course. So why are we here in Wall Sina anyways?"

"Well, it seems that we're here because we have some matters to discuss with Zackly. Apparently when you two came back, they found Levi with—"

"Mike," Hanji said, turning around. "If you tell Petra everything there'll be nothing to talk about over breakfast."

Mike sighed, then glanced at me. "I suppose you'll have to wait a bit longer. It's really no big deal, it shouldn't affect you."

I nodded solemnly, not sure what emotion I was supposed to be feeling.

Hanji pushed open a set of doors, opening the way to a large courtyard.

It had a dazzling fountain in the middle, and the entire area was filled with greenery.

In front of the fountain was a table for five. Two on each side, and one at the head of the table, presumably for Zackly.

We walked over, and took our seats. I sat next to Levi, and Hanji with Mike. The table was already set, but was lacking food. A great disappointment, actually.

I realized how hungry I was, and pondered when the promised food was going to come.

Hanji talked away, but I was utterly distracted. First by my surroundings, then by hunger, and finally by my memories. I thought back to my time outside the walls. The first day of the expedition, I had been filled with fear. Fear of titans. Fear of the outside. Fear of not having the walls to protect me.

But being outside, I learned to conquer those fears. True, I didn't adore titans as Hanji did, hoping to spot an aberrant. I also didn't become some amazing fighter like Levi, nor did I become as observant as Mike. Still, I felt more confident. Like I knew that I could go outside the walls, and come back in with no problem. Even now, I'm actually starting to long to smell the fresh air, and see the vast expanse of land, free to explore.

A young man came to us, and served us tea. The girl who came with him, set down a plate of scones, with some cups of jams and creams.

"Lord Eberhardt insists that you all enjoy your time here, but unfortunately, will not be able to join you this morning." the girl informed us.

"That's quite fine. Send him our thanks." Hanji told her.

"Of course." she replied, bowing.

I looked up, catching sight of the young girl. I stared in shock. She had long brown hair, swept up into a bun, and was fairly short. Her skin was very fair, and in short, she was adorable. She could be no younger than eighteen, and when I looked at her, she reminded of myself before I joined the Survey Corps.

I was startled, and couldn't help but stare at her. That's what I looked like before. My furtive glances were finally noticed by her, and I looked away, slightly embarrassed. Still, I couldn't help but feel shock, and I found myself caught up in the moment. I tried desperately to calm myself, but nothing worked. I lifted my teacup with little grace, shaking, spilling droplets of tea on myself. Levi looked over at me, and placed his hand on my wrist, lowering the cup back down to the saucer.

"We wouldn't want any accidents." he said, lifting his hand off, just as fast as he had put it on.

I nodded, lacing my hands together, and placing them on my lap. No accidents today. I took a deep breath, recomposing myself, then grabbed a scone. I cut it in half, and glazed a white creamy spread onto the inside of my scone.

I bit into it. Once I did, the taste of blueberries and a certain indescribable richness bloomed in my mouth. I tried not to scarf it down, but still, being as hungry as I was, I finished it quickly.

I started to feel a bit calmer, and I took a sip of my tea.

I set my cup back down, and when I looked up, I saw Darius Zackly coming towards us. Immediately, we all stood up, and saluted him.

He walked up behind his chair, and I noticed something under his arm. A box. Wait…not just a box…_the box_.

"At ease." he ordered gruffly. We all sat back down. He placed the box on the table, then removed his jacket, hanging on the back of his chair.

He sat himself down, and began drinking his tea. More servants came to us, and brought items such as roasted potatoes, smoked meats, fruits, and eggs. I gazed in wonder, as if I'd never seen food before.

After eating nothing but stale bread and such, this was definitely a good change. We all served ourselves, and even though I was actually thoroughly enjoying myself, I couldn't help but keep glancing at the box resting next to Zackly's right hand.

The air about the entire table was a bit tenser. Hanji still talked away, and we all ate…but something was different. Even Levi seemed different. He was unusually apathetic—for Levi that is—and didn't comment on anything. In reality, Hanji was the only one talking.

Zackly attempted to add to the conversation, and make it more lively, however, the rest of us didn't dare speak.

We finished our meal in haste, as if our subconscious knew that we were here to discuss important matters.

I picked my napkin off of my lap, placing it on my plate. The table was cleared by the same boy and girl, leaving the rest of us no distractions or scapegoats.

I sat a bit taller. Hanji stopped talking. For a few moments the table was silent.

Zackly removed the glasses from his face, and rubbed his temple, setting his glasses down on the table with his other hand.

"Squad leaders Hanji Zoë, and Mike Zacharius, you two are dismissed. I will call you back in shortly." they both stood up, salutely Zackly, then leaving the area.

I found myself becoming a bit more nervous, seeing the two of them leave. Mike had told me earlier that this would probably not concern me. Seeing them go only proved that I was indeed an important component in this case. And when Mike had told me that, that was before I was aware of the presence of the box.

"Levi Ackerman." Zackly drawled.

"Sir."

"It's said in this report that both you and Petra Ral were stranded outside the walls for some time."

"Yes, sir."

"In another report, it says that you two escaped the troop. Desertion."

I stiffened. Desertion? Where would they get that idea?

"Desertion?" Levi smirked. "I doubt that anyone would desert their only hope of living outside the walls, sir."

Zackly nodded. "I thought the same. I just had to confirm my suspicions." he refiled through his stack of papers until he came to yet another report.

"Petra Ral." I jumped a bit once I heard my name.

"Sir?"

"It says here that when you were both in an abandoned village. While you were there, you investigated the area, and recovered this box. Is this statement legitimate?"

"Of course." I told him. "It was a child's. I found it inside what used to be their bedroom. It was a girl."

"I see. Unfortunately, I won't be able to return the box to you as a spoil. Instead it will be investigated by a group of MPs, led by Squad Leader Hanji Zoë of the Survey Corps."

"MPs?" Levi sneered. "I don't see what their business is, butting in like this."

"They requested seeing it. They need to confirm that it isn't something insulting our king, or any revolutionary matter."

"Revolutionary matter?" I demanded. "What would a young girl have to say about our king? This was before humanity retreated into the walls, before any of—"

Zackly held up his hand, and I stopped. I bowed my head down.

"Pardon my subordinates actions. She's simply worked up over that. I believe she's also—"

"Ackerman. Don't worry. I believe this girl can speak for herself. I've heard very good things about you, Miss Ral."

I kept my head low. "Thank you sir." I said quietly.

"Thank you for your time, both of you. I'll see you in a bit. You're dismissed."

We stood up, saluted him, then walked up, Levi practically dragging me by the arm.

"And, Levi?"

He stopped in his tracks, but didn't turn around.

"Sir?"

"Keep an eye on her. She's very special. You wouldn't want her to get away." at this, Levi's grip tensed on my arm, but I didn't say anything. My eyes widened, and my mouth was slightly open at what Zackly had said. But I didn't dare say anything.

We walked out of the garden, Levi kicking the door open, narrowly missing Hanji's face.

"Levi?" she asked curiously. I glanced over at both Hanji and Mike, Mike's expression asking me what happened in there. I gave a slight shake of my head. It was nothing, I told him.

But Mike, didn't seem convinced.

Levi dragged me down several corridors, and at first, I was sure we were lost. He opened up a room, checked it was empty, then pulled me in, and shut the door.

He locked the door, letting go of my arm, then storming to the open window, leaving me at the door.

He was definitely pissed off. I took tentative steps towards him, unsure of what to do.

"Levi?"

"Listen, Petra." Levi said. He turned around, the light leaving a halo around his body. I clenched my hands together, unsure of what he was going to say.

He spun around on his heels, moving back towards the window. "Petra…I don't know if we can keep going on like this."

I walked up to him, keeping myself a fair distance from him.

"We're both in the Survey Corps. We know the worst is bound to happen eventually. I won't always be with you."

"Levi, I—"

"Wait, Petra. Just let me finish first. I don't want to lose anyone else in my life. I think I've lost enough people." My eyes widened in shock, and tears started to come. I blinked them away, and balled my hands into fists.

I turned away from him, and hardened my expression.

"Don't worry. I understand Heichou. I won't disturb you anymore. I'll see you in a bit." I walked towards the door, and didn't dare look back at Captain Levi. He stood there in silence, not making a movement towards me.

I opened the door, slamming it shut after me, then began running down the hallway, not having a particular destination, just trying to run away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes**

**Okay, this is the fourth time I've written this chapter. I originally wanted it to be a bonus chapter during your wait, but I just decided to make it a real chapter, so this is chapter 9!**

**Thank you for all you kind comments, they make me really happy when I read them!**

**I'm sorry for this hiatus, but I have been doing research! (Which really just means that I've been rewatching SNK, hehe.)**

**Yeah, I just realized that not everything is in the correct chronological order, so sorry about that. ((,))**

* * *

CHAPTER 9

When Hanji told me that we had to attend the charity ball, initially I didn't know what to say.

There wasn't much for me to say, though. It was mandatory for me to go, being a part of Squad Levi. So, the day of the party, I waited in my house for Hanji and Nanaba to come. I had expected them to come at a time nearer to the party, so we'd all go together. That didn't happen. They came a couple hours earlier, carrying boxes of clothing and makeup.

During the next hours, they were busy fitting me into dresses, and while Hanji exclaimed in excitement, saying that if we received enough funds, she had the greatest machines in mind.

"They'll all be ours! Imagine Petra!" she cried out, buttoning the back of my dress. In her excitement, she nearly pulled me down to the ground, much to Nanaba's dismay.

"Hanji, calm yourself." Nanaba said quietly, wiping off the smudged lipstick from my cheek.

Hanji seemed shocked—more from the fact that Nanaba was working more quietly than her agitation. She laughed, hitting my back. I groaned silently, and Nanaba—sighing this time—wiped the lipstick from my cheek once again.

When my mother came home, she was shocked to see that I was already dressed up, and had my hair and makeup done. She had a dress in hand, but I could tell she was so much more passionate by the work of my fellow soldiers.

She was so excited when she saw me, that I could see the tears brimming from her eyes. I guess it wasn't often that she saw me in something other than my uniform. In fact, the last time I wore a dress was probably as a child. Dresses and 3DMG don't mix well.

So we got into the coach, and were driven inside Wall Sina. Hanji and Nanaba had prepared themselves, and although the two of them had seemed so enthusiastic before, their energy seemed to have died down.

The ride was fairly short, but we still arrived a bit later than the scheduled time. Hanji dismissed it, saying that we'd have hours to kill before we made our presentation at the end of the night.

Nanaba gazed outside the window. "Hours…" then almost sighing, she gazed back at both of us. "A fine way to kill time, isn't it?"

Hanji shrugged. "You know. It's really different compared to running experiments."

"And so many people live like this everyday of their lives—just dancing, and eating." Nanaba whispered.

I looked at the both of them, surprised by the depth of their conversation. But I guess I shouldn't be. Both of them had been in the Survey Corps so long, seeing their friends die, I'm sure that they didn't always appreciate the oblivion of the people.

We stepped out of the coach, and entered the mansion, filled with people dressed in elaborate clothing. My dress was fairly impressive itself, as were Hanji and Nanaba's. I wonder, where did they get them all?

I shrugged it off, and standing at the top of the stairs, leading down to the ballroom, I gazed down at everyone. People danced, laughing. I saw few of the other Survey Corps members, and once Hanji and Nanaba left my side, I could hardly tell who they were amongst the crowd. It'd be impossible to find anyone else at this point, unless I spent the entire night looking. I'd just have to hope that I'd stumble upon one of them.

So I descended down the stairs, trying hard not to trip in the shoes that Nanaba had given me.

As soon as I stepped down, I felt engulfed by all the people. The music seemed to carry everyone around, and I couldn't help but notice this happy glow that they all had.

So this is how they spend their time here in Wall Sina.

I looked around the room, and noticed the people standing on the sides. Though most were enjoying themselves, I could tell that some of them had a certain unimpressed look to them, as if they'd seen better—which they probably had.

I wove through the throng of people, trying to find a peaceful sanctuary for a few moments. This was all a bit overwhelming.

Finally I found myself in a powder room, how, I don't think I'll ever know, but at that moment, it seemed like a safehaven.

No one else was in the room, so I had the entire place to myself.

Vanities were set in the shape of a horseshoe, each immaculate.

I sat myself down at one of the chairs, and sighed. It would be a long night, especially if I couldn't find anyone else. But I couldn't just hole myself up in here the entire night!

I looked at the mirror in front of me, and stared hard. Was that really Petra Ral in the mirror?

It was the same girl, but she looked as though someone had gotten rid of all the imperfections, glossing her face like a porcelain doll.

I studied her face. But there were still the little defining traits that kept Petra Ral the way she was. Her tangerine hair. The color or her eyes. The shape of her nose.

I tried to sit straighter, and in the mirror, I saw an older version of the girl who had joined the Survey Corps. Did I really change that much?

I looked away, not wanting to see anymore. I walked out of the room, and entered the dance hall once again.

Partners bowed to one another as the dance finished, and I noticed many looking for new partners.

I didn't think I was ready to start dancing, and I tried to avoid being noticed. I passed through everyone, when suddenly I hit someone.

"Sorry!" I stuttered. "I wasn't looking."

Commander Erwin looked in contemplation. "Ah, that's quite alright Petra."

"Commander Erwin." I said, trying to make my voice sound firm again.

"I'm pleased you were able to make it. In fact, I'm glad as many of the Survey Corps came." he cast a sideways glance, and I could tell that he wasn't enjoying the festivities that much. He had just come to help keep the Survey Corps alive, most likely.

"Mm," I replied. "It's a nice change, I suppose. To go from man eating giants to…"'

"A ball in Wall Sina." Erwin finished.

"Yes."

The music started again, and I sighed, preparing myself to finish my escape, when Erwin stopped me.

"Ah, well, while we're here, we might as well dance. May I?"

I took me a moment to realize that he was asking to dance with me, but I quickly realized soon after. I smiled.

"Of course."

We danced across the room, and talked about trivial things. It was one of the first times, truth be told, that I've had such a long conversation with the Commander. He made good company, and I started to realize why he was Commander in the first place.

When I brought up the mention of casualties during the expeditions, his answer was different than I expected. "Ah, yes. It greatly hurts the Corps, and it's not great seeing so many soldiers die. It's a good thing we get new recruits so often however."

His tone carried no sense of sympathy envers the dead. Instead his answer seemed more towards the larger picture—the survival of the Corps themselves. He was a man willing to brush aside their deaths, and think more about the deaths of humanity as a whole.

After we talked of that, I could tell that his mind was no longer on the dance. He was thinking of something more important.

Nearing the end of our dance, he called my name, drawing back my attention.

"Yes?"

"Do you have feelings for Levi?"

His question was so sudden, that for a second I didn't know what to say. All the words that I wanted to say wouldn't come out. Instead, I could feel the warmth spreading across my cheeks.

Did I have feelings for Levi? It'd been a few months since we got back from that fateful expedition. Of course I thought back to the time spent with him, it wasn't something I'd be able to forget, that was for sure. I blinked at the utter silence.

"…why…why would you be asking that?" Good. That would give me more time to think. My mind was racing, thoughts flying everywhere. Where did his question come from? Why is he asking this? were my feelings for Levi still there?

Of course they were. There was no denying that. Whenever I was with, my heart would race. I'd even feel a little embarrassed when someone mentioned his name, my throat would choke up. It was almost as if everything had a mind of its own. I tried so hard to forget him, to move on, to accept him as my Captain, but…but…

"Ah, I was just wondering. You two spent a lot of time together when you were stranded."

I stared at him, pensive. "Yes. Yes we did."

The rest of the time, we were completely silent, moving to the music. I myself didn't pay too much attention either. Instead I looked around. It was nice, I suppose.

I was surprised when Erwin stopped. I looked back up at him, and saw that his head was turned. With a nod of his head, he turned back to me, then smiled.

"I'm glad we had a chance to talk, Petra." then he walked off without another word. The Commander could be a mysterious man.

I began to walk off too, when once again, I was stopped.

"Oi, Petra. You don't want to dance with me?"

My eyes widened.

I turned around, and there was Levi.

He was dressed in a black suit, carrying his trademark cravat, as usual. He gazed at me, and for a second, I could almost swear that he was shocked.

Not waiting to hear my answer, he took me in his hands, and we continued dancing. I felt my cheeks growing hotter, like always when I was with Levi.

My heart skipped a beat at every turn, and my face felt warm. Levi never took his eyes off of my face during the entire dance, despite us not having talked during most of it.

Finally, as I turned, Levi spoke.

"You were dancing with Erwin." he said blandly.

"Uh, yes." I replied, unsure. "He asked me, so I said yes."

"I see."

The music stopped, but Levi didn't let go of me. I didn't dare pull away. For the briefest of moments, it felt like there was only the two of us.

I heard his breathing as we stood there, and we were standing so much closer than when I had been dancing with Erwin.

Levi closed his eyes, then—still holding on to me—led me out of the din. We walked, narrowly dodging people.

My hand was still slipped into his, and my heart was beating so loud, I wondered if he could hear it too.

We walked out outside into a garden. It was so silent, I couldn't believe the change.

It was incredibly dark outside, and it only got darker as we distanced ourselves from the bright house.

Eventually I was only able to discern the vague shapes of trees and shrubs around us, but Levi was still ever so present.

A cool breeze passed, and despite it being colder out here, I still felt warm from everything that was happening.

Levi led me over to a small gazebo in the middle of this labyrinth. Instead of breaking off and sitting down inside, we stood in front of it, the breeze blowing past us.

Levi touched a strand of my hair, and look at it in pure reflection.

"Your hair…" his voice trailed off as he twirled his finger in one of the curls Nanaba had made.

"It's nice." he finished, letting it drop. "I didn't realize you dyed it."

I looked away, gazing at the marble gazebo. "I…I didn't dye it. This is my natural hair color. I've always been uncomfortable since it was so unusual that I dyed it brown. I've…been doing it for a while." I admitted.

My heart stood still when Levi squeezed my hand, and pulled me towards him.

I very literally fell into him, tripping on my shoes.

My mind flashed back to earlier today, when Nanaba and Hanji were fixing me.

Hanji had left the room, in attempt to find something to help fix part of my dress. I was sitting in the chair, my face placid as Nanaba did my hair.

She stood behind me, fixing it up, lifting up a handful of it, then letting it drop.

"Petra." she said. She startled me for a second, but I quickly recovered.

"Yes, Nanaba?"

"Why didn't you tell Levi how you felt." She made her question sound so natural, that it didn't even strike me that odd about how she knew that.

My gaze dropped to the floor.

"He was right." I whispered, feeling like a teenage girl again. "That we shouldn't be too close. If one of us died, it would only hurt us more than it would if—"

"But Petra," Nanaba dropped my hair for good, and walked over so that she was facing me, she pulled a chair up, and sat in front of me.

She looked like her usual calm self, but this time there was a hint of sadness to her eyes.

She sighed. "I'll sound like a hypocrite saying this, but don't you think that it'd hurt you even more if you didn't tell Levi how you felt? If let's say one of you two were to die soon, don't you think the time would be better spent with him, than detaching yourself from him? I think that you'll feel just as sad being without him, if not more."

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Was Nanaba right?

I looked up at Levi, and noticed that he had caught me in his arms. I blushed, and glanced away.

I didn't pull myself back up, and I felt almost unsure about what to do. Nanaba! Where are you when I need you?

I mustered up my courage, and looked back up at him. He had that amused look on his face, and he was staring down at me.

I pushed myself up, but found myself still in Levi's hold.

He looked down at me, his hair falling forward. In the darkness, I couldn't distinguish all his facial features, but I saw an outline. How many times had I looked at him like this?

I blinked away, then gripped tightly on his cravat and pulled him down towards me. I pressed my lips against his, and I could feel his shock. Was this bad?

His hand brushed up to my hair, and I laced my hands around his neck, tugging him towards me.

My heartbeat calmed itself, and all I could focus on for a bit was the warmth of Levi's lips. My grip loosened on his cravat, and Levi took my hand in his, lacing his fingers through me. Levi…

I felt tears that I'd been holding back for the longest of times slip out, and run down my cheeks.

I pulled away, feeling the tears drip down my face, and looked away. I let the tears fall, and stood there, silently.

Levi took my chin in his fingers, tilting it upwards so I'd look up at him. Still, I cast my gaze downwards.

"Petra." Levi paused. "Why are you crying?"

"No reason." I smiled up at him.

He studied my face, then brushed away a tear with a swipe of his thumb. I gazed up at him, still smiling.

I finally started to feel the cold, and shivered lightly. I didn't realize how long we'd been out here. But there's no where I'd rather be.

Levi let go of me, and I opened up my eyes, looking up at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly, sounding small and naive.

Levi pulled his jacket off, and wrapped it around my shoulders, hugging me tighter after. I gripped the jacket over myself, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Are you warmer now?" Levi asked quietly.

I nodded my head softly, and buried my face into his shoulder. "Yes." I whispered.

We stood there in silence, and even though there was something I was burning to say, I didn't say it. I didn't want to ruin this peace.

I nuzzled my head against his white button down shirt, and felt more comfortable than I had all night. I never wanted to leave his side. I never wanted to leave this warmth and comfort.

"Levi," I whispered, breaking the silence.

"Petra," he replied, combing my hair through his fingers.

"I…I love you."

His hands paused for a second, then after a moment's thought, started combing through them again. He hugged me tighter to him, and I closed my eyes again. That answer was enough.


End file.
